Hi Reader

One small note before we begin.

You might have noticed I’ve been quiet over the past few months. That wasn’t by accident. I’ve been listening, thinking, and redesigning things properly, because if I’m going to take up a bit of your time each week, I want it to genuinely earn its place.

Over 600 of you shared thoughtful feedback at the end of last year about what you value, what you linger on, and what actually helps at this stage of life, and I’ve taken that seriously.

So this newsletter is going to feel a little different from here on in. Less round-ups, fewer “things”, and more space to sit with one idea at a time. I’ve been working away on a lot of new writing, audio, and video, and I’m excited about where this is heading.

The aim isn’t more content... it’s better thinking, fewer clichés, and something that actually earns a pause in your week.

I hope you like the new format, please let me know your thoughts... Let's get cracking!

This weeks subject is...

WHAT I'VE NOTICED

There’s a particular sentence I keep hearing.

It’s rarely said confidently.
Usually it comes with a pause, or a shrug, or a half-laugh that’s doing a lot of emotional work.

Not unhappy.
Not falling apart.
Just… not lighter.

And the interesting thing is how quickly people move on from that sentence, as if they’re not really allowed to sit with it. As if even saying it out loud is a bit indulgent.

Because retirement is meant to be the release, isn’t it?
The exhale.
The bit where you stop clenching without even realising you were clenching.

So when that doesn’t quite happen, most people don’t think...

They think...

WHAT I THINK IS REALLY GOING ON

I think we massively underestimate how much pressure work quietly carries for us.

Not just deadlines and meetings and stress, but decisions.

Work decides when the day starts.
It decides what counts as useful.
It decides what a “proper” day looks like.
It decides when you’re allowed to stop.

Even if you hate your job, even if you're counting down the years, it still gave your life shape. It still answers questions for you so you don't have to keep asking them.

And then one day, that whole structure just disappears.

No warm-down.
No gradual handover.
Just a lot of open time and a vague cultural expectation that you should be enjoying yourself.

So the pressure doesn’t go away, it just changes hands.

Now you decide how the day unfolds.
Now you decide whether you’ve done enough.
Now you decide whether you’re “wasting” time.

That’s not freedom as most people imagine it.
That’s responsibility... delivered all at once.

Which is why freedom can feel heavier than expected.

Not because you’ve made a mistake.
Not because retirement was the wrong call.

But because you’ve stepped out of a system that quietly carried more of your mental load than you realised.

IF YOU WANT TO GO DEEPER

I talked this through out loud and in more depth recently, which sometimes lands differently than reading it on a screen:

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A QUESTION WORTH SITTING WITH